Will You Play with Me?
by Mistress Zelda
Summary: A Organization XIII based Oneshot. Complete with Zexion as the narrator, DDR with Axel and Roxas, Lexaeus crying, and Zexion's Footnotes of Joy! Warning! Contains personality exaggerations!


I wanted to play.

Yes I, little Zexion. The youngest and by far less mature of the Organization members. I've been told I basically act like a five year old most of the time. But hey, I CAN be serious. I just choose not to.

Anyway, I was very bored. Already, I had completed all of my puzzles about six times, sorted my books, and built a model plane and boat. I had also gone through Harvest Moon **(1)** about seven times and already memorized the lines that every townsperson said.

So, I trudged out of my room. Who could I play with? Most of the members weren't very friendly.

I decided to go through the list. And the first to try was Xemnas.

The problem with Xemnas was that his room was so annoying to get to. You had to go up so many stairs to get to him in the Altar of Naught. I sighed; why couldn't the Superior have a room in Proof of Existence?

Well, whatever. I didn't really care. I just wanted someone to play with. So, after about 70 flights of stairs, I finally stood at the Superior's door. Knock? I hardly even knew that word. I just walked in.

Xemnas's room always smelled like wood polish. The guy had a lot of wooden things, and he shined them just about everyday. He also had books. Lots of books. Books with weird titles like: The Act of Antidisestablishmentarianism **(2)**, which he borrowed from Luxord. Just the title made my head hurt. And there was Xemnas. Sitting at his desk, writing. Xemnas had this weird penpal, as he liked to call it, named Ansem. I always asked who this Ansem was, but Xemnas never told him. Though, little old me always snooped into his letters. The letters were really hard to read. They had a lot of big words that I didn't understand. They seemed to refer to Heartless and Nobody a lot.

Anyway, Xemnas was too busy writing to notice that I had barged into his room. So how did I get his attention? That's right. I bit the Superior on the arm.

Xemnas's head slowly turned to me. He looked like was about to go insane and slap me. "Y-Yes?"

"Play with me," I replied.

"Uh…" Xemnas looked confused. "I…um…I'd rather not."

I blinked, and then started crying to see if I could get him to cave in.

Xemnas kind of spazzed. "Uh…" he pat me on the back. "Um, well, why don't you ask Xigbar? He…uh…should play with you…"

I continued to cry. I could tell Xemnas had no idea what to do. The man obviously wasn't good with kids. Then, he got an idea. He opened one of the drawers in his desk. What was in there? Cookies. Xemnas had a HUGE sweet tooth. He gave me a cookie. "Just…take it. Go to Xigbar now."

I scored a cookie! Sweet! I began to nibble on it as I made my way back to Proof of Existence.

Ah yes, Xigbar, the Freeshooter. I actually was able to get Xigbar to play Super Smash Brothers Melee with me. It took some threatening, but I got the crazy surfer to do it. So, anyway, I waltzed into Xigbar's room, where I about screamed.

There was Xigbar, polishing his surfboard, without any clothes on. Thankfully, the surfboard was on his lap.

I just couldn't get the scream out. I was so disturbed that my body just froze.

Xigbar looked up. "Huh? AH!" He gestured me to look the other way as he slipped on his cloak. "Sorry, little dude, but sometimes, I like to get comfortable while I'm polishing ol' Mitilda here."

You heard him right, folks. The man named his surfboard. How very…Xigbar…ish…

Anyway, on to business. "Will you play with me, Xiggy?" I asked sweetly.

"First of all, don't call me Xiggy, little dude. That's like, totally not gnarly. And second of all, I'm jumping out of my cloak after you leave and polish Mitilda some more. The chick needs to look nice."

"But, it's just a surfboard."

"Don't be trippin' my style, little man. Mitilda doesn't like to be taken down by the little dudes. So, like, I suggest you leave. Unless you want to see me in my fleshly glory."

I wasn't sure what that meant, but I knew it was bad. So, I walked out.

I sighed. I had 10 other members I could ask. Next was Xaldin. Now, Xaldin wasn't my favorite person. For some reason, he would always be at Beast's Castle. I would always find his scent there. And also, he always talked about women. What was so special about them? Anyway, I walked into Xaldin's room. The Whirlwind Lancer was sitting on his bed, watching some strange girl on his T.V.

"Ah, Belle, you beautiful…succulent being…oh how I would love to…" he noticed me and immediately stopped.

I blinked. "Who's that lady?"

"Her?" Xaldin swooned. "That's Belle. Look at her and all of her radiant beauty! Her eyes shine with the brightness of a thousand stars! Her lips, so juicy and delicious. And her bre…" Xaldin stopped again. "Uh…well…she's pretty."

I blinked again. "So…you're in love? I thought Xemnas didn't allow love."

Xaldin smirked. "Well, I'm not actually in love with her. I just want…"

**One hour later…**

Xaldin pat me on the back and led me to the door. "And that's all you need to know about where babies come from and why I yearn to get my hands on Belle."

My eyes were wide open, my face pale, and my jaw dropped. At some points, my left eye would twitch a little. So…gross….

"I hope I answered all of your questions. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go daydream about Belle some more…"

It took me a while to absorb all of the disturbing things Xaldin shoved into my mind. Eventually, I shook out of it and realized that I never asked Xaldin to play with me.

After that explanation, I never wanted to speak to Xaldin again.

The next unsuspecting member on his list was Vexen. I couldn't seem to recollect ever going in there. But this time, I was sure I was going to see it.

Vexen was a bookworm. Not only that, but his room was COLD. I shuddered as I walked in. I saw Vexen, sitting in a big comfy chair, reading Dreamcatcher **(3)**. His walls were covered in a bunch of long science and math equations. I stood in front of Vexen for about five minutes until he finally noticed. This guy may be smart, but he loses touch with the outside world when he's reading.

"What is it?" The Chilly Academic asked.

"Will you play with me, Vexen?" I inquired.

"No," Vexen answered. "I'm much too busy to be playing with a child."

I hate when people say that to me. "But you're just reading! Pleeeaaase?"

"Remember when you asked me to help you pull a prank on Ansem the Wise when we were real?"

I nodded. "You mean the prank where we would dip his sea-salt ice cream in aqua paint to see if he would notice?" **(4)**

"Well, I have the same answer for this that I had for that. NO. He'll kill me."

"Who will kill you?"

Vexen blinked and thought for a few seconds. Then he glared at me and pointed to the door. "OUT."

I sighed and left. Why wouldn't anyone play with me? I just didn't understand. Now, who was the next person on the list? Oh yeah! Lexaeus! I didn't really think that Mr. Muscle was going to play with me, but it was worth a shot. I cautiously stepped into Lexaeus's room. I was afraid of coming in here. Last time I did I was forced to do 50 push-ups. His room was basically a huge exercise room. With weights, treadmills, everything. But for some odd reason, the Silent Hero wasn't around. I always wondered WHY he was called the Silent Hero. The guy talks. A LOT. I mean it too; the guy won't shut up at the dinner table. Usually Axel has to throw something at him. Anyway, the guy was nowhere to be found. I looked around, until I caught his scent. He was in a closet? I opened it and there he was, watching a small television and holding a box of tissues. The huge burly man was crying as he was watching some kind of a Soap Opera.

"Now Jenny and Doug will never fall in love thanks to Jenny's evil twin sister!" Lexaeus cried, blowing his nose into a tissue.

Once again, it took him a while to figure out I was standing there. "Uh…" he paused for a few seconds. "This is exactly what it looks like." He turned off the T.V.

My eyes lowered. "Riiight. Anyway, I was wondering if you would play with me."

"Um…well…I can't." Lexaeus's eyes kept shifting between me and the television. "I have to go…place…"

Moron. That was the first word that popped in my head. "Whatever. You're not worth it." I sighed, slammed the door shut, and walked out of the room. How can five people in the Organization not want to play with me? I mean come on! I'm cute, cuddly, have an awesome hair style, and I like a bunch of stuff! Well, it doesn't matter. For now, I was entering the room of the dreaded Luna Diver. Yes, Saïx, the calm, collected man who needs some anger management. Seriously, I mean the guy may seem calm when he's around you real people, but when he's around us, he's INSANE **(5)**. He usually paces frantically, shouting that he's off schedule. The guy is number seven in the Organization. _I_ have more work than he does, even if I am one rank above him. The work is usually stuff like cleaning Xigbar's room **(6)** but still, I have a little more than he does! Ah, listen to me rant on. I need to stop doing this. Well, like I did with everyone else, I barged into Saïx's room. His room had a GIANT window which is supposed to 'let the moonlight come in' or something. All over the wall there are just pictures of moons. The guy's obsessed! And he has no T.V. or video games. Just sketchpads, which I recently discovered are filled with many different ways to kill Axel. Oh, and wonderful. I caught him in one of his 'moon absorbing meditation' thingies **(7)**. I was getting a bit impatient, so I just shook him.

Saïx looked up at me. "What do you want, child?"  
You know what I really don't like about this guy? He always addresses me as 'child'. And in this stern manner too. "I want to play with someone, will you play with me?"  
The blue haired man blinked. "Ha! What do you think I am, your babysitter? Out of my room!"

I blew a raspberry at him and left. This was beginning to grow annoying. But, then I realized that my next person to ask was Axel! Axel was one of my friend's here. He was really nice to me. But lately we've grown apart ever since stupid Roxas came. Ugh! I hate that newbie! How dare he steal my friend! And I seemed to have jinxed it. As I walked in, there was Axel and Roxas playing Dance Dance Revolution. They play it everyday and they claim they are very good, but that's a lie. They're REALLY bad **(8)**. I waited until they were done with that stupid butterfly song to announce that I was there. I tried to get over to them, which was a pain because Axel wouldn't know cleanliness if it slapped him in the face. I'm so glad Larxene has to clean this place and not me. Anyway, I finally got over to them and asked my usually question:

"Will one or both of you play with me?"

The two looked at each other.

"I guess…" Axel started. I jumped with excitement.

"Wait!" Roxas interjected. "Axel and I were…um…going to go to Twilight Town and mess with everyone! He promised me!"

Axel blinked. "I…did?"

"Yeah! You…you said, 'Roxas, you and I are going to Twilight Town and screw with people's minds tomorrow! Got it memorized?' Remember?"

Axel tapped his head a few times. "Nope. I don't. But then again, what do I know? I have the worst memory in this whole Organization! Even Xigbar has a better memory span than I do! Well, sorry then, Zexion. You're going to have to find someone else. I already made plans."

I glared at Roxas and stormed out, tripping on Axel chakrams on the way out. I swear, he ALWAYS leaves those things in the wrong spot **(9)**.

I was so angry! Roxas stole Axel from me again with his stupid lies! Note to self: get revenge on Roxas. Oh well, the next person was Demyx. Demyx was another one of my friends. But, the problem was as I entered his messy room, was that he was sleeping. The guy sleeps. A LOT. He usually does this to get out of the missions Xemnas send us on. For some reason he has a problem with fighting. But I've seen him fight. I have to tell you, he's MUCH better than a lot of us. Anyway, I might as well cross him off of my list. I wish Xemnas made a sleeping limit.

Well, my next target was Luxord. I loved his room. The guy has a great taste in design. When you walk in, you step onto his neatly polished, spotless marble floor. He has a huge fountain in the middle of his room and guess what? That's not water, it's Sprite! For some odd reason, Luxord lives his Sprite. He likes to put them in one of his super fancy wine glasses and sip it properly. The guy maybe so prim and proper, but he plays an insane game of speed **(10)**. Though, they never let me in on poker nights. They say I'm too young. Only Luxord, Xigbar, Xemnas, Vexen, Saïx, and Lexaeus can go. The rest of us have to stay in our rooms. Oh well, onto business. There was Luxord, sitting in on of his velvet plush chairs and sipping some Sprite.

"Ah, Master Zexion, I did not see you enter. Please, take a seat."

This guy is so cool. And he calls me Master Zexion, which rules. I think he and Xigbar should switch ranks. Anyway, I took a seat. "Hey, Luxord, will you play with me?" I asked.

"Hm…" Luxord stroked his beard and took another sip of Sprite. "I do believe I can."

I jumped up in delight. Finally! Someone will be able to play with me!

Then, my happiness faded as Xaldin came in.

"Hey, Brit, time to clean my room," the man who needed a serious sideburn saving said.

"For the last time, Master Xaldin," Luxord responded. "Please don't call me Brit. It's degrading."

"Well, whatever. I'm going to go see what Lexaeus is up to." Xaldin left.  
Luxord sighed. "I'm sorry young master, but I must attend to cleaning. Maybe some other time."

This angered me. Why is everyone denying my request? Ah, I have two more left. Marluxia and Larxene. Maybe one of them will accept.

So, anyway, I left Luxord's room and entered Marluxia's. His room was really neat too. It smelled good. Mostly because of his plants and flowers that he has all over the room. Not only that, but he has a nice plush carpet, and a huge bed. Since Marluxia is one of my friend's he lets me stay in his room. Boy, do we have fun **(11)**. Anyway, Marluxia was, as usual, playing a video game. This time, it was The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker. The guy is a video game fanatic **(12)**. Well, I poked him.

"Hey, Zexion," his eyes were piecing intensely into game.

"Will you play with me?" I asked.

"Try again after I defeat Wind Temple…" he said.

Ah, he was facing the dreaded Wind Temple** (13)**. No one liked that place. Oh well, he was busy, so I couldn't play with him.

This must be my bad day. Maybe I should've actually listened to that stupid horoscope channel on Harvest Moon. Anyway, I had one last person to ask: Larxene.

Now, I never liked Larxene. One, she's a sadist **(14)**, two, she has a MAJOR crush on poor Marluxia, three, she puts on too much make up, and four, she's really mean. But, I guess desperate times call for desperate measures. I entered her room, and there she was, talking over the internet. She was ALWAYS on the computer. She actually doesn't come to eat because she stays on the internet. Girls, I'll never understand them. Especially this one. She's the only girl in the Organization and she's the worst out of all of us.

Anyway, I tugged on her sleeve. "Larxene…will you play with me?"

"Like, so not!" she said. "I'm like, in an MMORPG! So like, out!"

An MMORPG **(15)**, huh? Well…whatever…

So, I have been denied by every single member in the Organization. I was angry. But, don't think that I was going to stop here. No. Zexion, the Cloaked Schemer does not give up that easily! I had a secret weapon that I liked to use when this happens.

At the stop of my lungs I screamed, "EVERYONE! SORA'S HERE!"

That did it, Xemnas stopped writing letters, Xigbar got dressed, Xaldin stopped fantasizing about Belle, Vexen put down his book, Lexaeus stopped crying, Saïx stopped meditating, Axel and Roxas canceled their trip to Twilight Town, Demyx woke up, Luxord stop cleaning, Marluxia actually paused the game, and Larxene got off of the internet. They all rushed to where I was with their weapons. "Where is he?" they all asked in unison.

This is when I did the most mischievous of things. The number one attention grabber.

I turned chibi.

"No one will pway wit me!" I whined, little chibi tears forming in my eyes.

"Awww…" they all said in unison.

The Moral here?

Chibis rule.

For those of you who don't know what those black numbers were, they are called footnotes. It's time for Zexion's Footnotes of Joy!

**(1) **Harvest Moon is game that's been with us for a long time. It's known for its weird concepts and bad translations.

**(2) **I actually took the time to look up this word. Not only is it one of the longest words in the English language, but it means resistance to some type of British church. Well, Luxord IS British…

**(3) **A horror book by the infamous Stephen King. Stephen King is a really gory writer and Vexen never even lets me look at the first page of these books. For some reason, Vexen LOVES bloody, gory, horror stories, especially books by Stephen King.

**(4) **This was a particularly funny joke we played on our mentor. It was me, Braig, Xehanort, and Dilan. For those of you who don't know who these people are, then let me tell you. In the order, it's Xigbar, Xemnas, and Xaldin. The other two were too chicken. So, we dip Ansem the Wise's sea salt ice cream into the same colour paint to see if he would notice. The weird thing is, he didn't. He ate the whole thing. But he kept saying, "This is the best sea salt ice cream I've ever had!" Bah. What a weirdo. Ansem the Wise? More like Ansem the Moron.

**(5) **Seriously, ask anyone in the Organization, even Xemnas. They will all tell you that Saïx is insane.

**(6) **Quite possibly the worst task ever. I don't see why Xemnas makes me do it. Xigbar's room smells terrible. And half the stuff he has in his room is junk! The guy is so messy! I have to do this every week and trust me, I'd rather be scrubbing the floors.

**(7) **I really don't get this. Saïx claims to attain higher levels of power but I don't believe him. The guy sits there with his eyes close and twisted up like a pretzel. I think he's sleeping but I'm not sure yet.

**(8) **I'm not being mean on this, they're the worst. Even Larxene is better than these guys! Everyone in the castle can do either Standard, Heavy, or Challenge mode, Except for these two. Axel's on Light, Roxas is on Beginner. And they do that stupid Butterfly song ALL OF THE TIME. The whole Organization knows it by heart.

**(9) **I slept in Axel's room one night. Ugh, those stupid chakrams. I wake up to get a drink of water, and of course, it's pitch black. I step, actually, more like trip, over his piles of junk. Then, my bare foot steps on something sharp and flaming hot. I let out a yell that woke up the whole castle. Axel REALLY needs to get his room cleaned.

**(10) **No joke here, the Gambler of Fate can play a mean game of speed. No one in the castle can beat him. He's just way too fast.

**(11) **Seriously, Marluxia and I stay up all night playing Mario Kart: Double Dash. It's so much fun.

**(12) **If you're looking for a video game freak, Marluxia's your guy. He's got EVERYTHING. Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Sega, Dreamcast, Nintendo 64, Playstation, Nintendo Gamecube, Xbox, Playstation 2, Xbox 360, PSP, Gameboy, Gameboy Advance, and Nintendo DS. Yeah, he's got it all.

**(13) **For those of you Zelda goers, you know the horrors of that accursed Wind Temple. Ugh, that place took me a day to complete. I kept going around in circles and I couldn't find the boss key. Once I did, I couldn't find the boss!

**(14) **Sadist…well, Xaldin informed me on this. A Sadist is a person who likes to inflict pain on people. And…to a sadist…this is like pleasure. It's…really gross.

**(15) **I really have NO IDEA what a MMORPG is. Any of you real people out know what it is? If you do, it would be very helpful if could tell me. Don't worry, if you survive the Nobodies and the other members of the Organization, I might be able to convince Xemnas not to kill/turn you into a Heartless.

**The End! Please review. All reviews will be sent to Zexion himself.**


End file.
